![](\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/alligator-8-x-10-1.jpg\"\/)
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nA couple weeks ago, our wonderful contributor Ruth Chan<\/a> sent Joanna and me an email with these comics and a note: \u201cI recently found these comics that I\u2019d made years ago while going through the hardest time of my life. I called them \u2018Portraits of the Unsure.\u2019 I still cry reading them, so I thought they might resonate with CoJ readers?\u201d<\/p>\n As soon as I clicked into them, I, too, felt my throat tighten and tears well up. Because in each comic \u2014 featuring an adorable animal sharing a confession about feeling lost or embracing a hard-earned lesson \u2014 I saw a small part of myself, as well. Here are the comics, plus a Q&A with Ruth\u2026<\/p>\n *****<\/strong><\/p>\n Jannelle: When you drew these comics, what was going on in your life?<\/strong> That\u2019s so hard.<\/strong> What kind of job were you laid off from?<\/strong> From this series, which comic most resonates with you today?<\/strong> It\u2019s a great lesson.<\/strong> When you were going through your divorce, what did friends and family do that helped?<\/strong> Many of these comics are about accepting one\u2019s whole self. What have you learned about owning your own personal identity?<\/strong> Finally, what would you say to someone who is going through a hard time, when it\u2019s hard to imagine that there\u2019s good on the other side?<\/strong> Thank you so much, Ruth<\/a>!<\/strong><\/p>\n P.S. A trick to stop worrying<\/a>, and why grief is like butter<\/a>.<\/p>\n![\"Portraits](\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/alligator-8-x-10-1.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n![\"Portraits](\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/giraffe-8x10-1.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n![\"Portraits](\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/horse-8-x-10-1.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n![\"Portraits](\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Hedgehog-8-x-10-1.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Marching-Band-8x10-2.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n![\"Portraits](\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/waiting-dog-8-x-10-1.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n![\"Portraits](\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/bowling-pin-8-x-10.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n![\"Portraits](\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Shiba-8-x-10-1.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n![\"Portraits](\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/hummingbird-8-x-10-scaled.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n![\"Portraits](\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/tortoise-8x10-2.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n
Ruth: I was 32 and had just separated from my husband and<\/em> lost my job. I had to move out of our joint apartment because I didn\u2019t have the income to stay. Everything I knew was suddenly gone.<\/p>\n
I was severely depressed. The only things I could manage were walking my dog and painting these animal portraits. I started with just one, and then continued making one a day. Now looking back, I can tell that creating them was my way to process everything I was feeling.<\/p>\n
I was in community-based nonprofit management, and it was actually through painting these portraits that I started getting the courage and excitement to think, \u2018Oh, maybe I do<\/em> want to be an illustrator.\u2019 I was at the bottom, so there was nowhere to go but up. These portraits were the beginning of building a portfolio. I also started taking children\u2019s book illustration classes at the School of Visual Arts<\/a>.<\/p>\n
The marching band one<\/a>. These days, I\u2019m still always trying to stop controlling things. As a parent, I find that especially hard to wrap my head around, since all I want is to control the chaos! But I have to actively tell myself, \u2018It\u2019s okay<\/em> if my daughter gets messy. It\u2019s okay if she doesn\u2019t eat much lunch because she wants to spend time outside. Let the day be unpredictable. It\u2019s fine<\/em>.\u2019 Because that\u2019s when the amazing things can happen, you know?<\/p>\n
Also, the bowling pin one<\/a>. It\u2019s so hard for me to ask for help, even though I know my friends and family are there for me.<\/p>\n
My friend Jane brought up the idea for us to share a Blue Apron subscription, which turned into us routinely going over to each other\u2019s places to cook together. I think that was her way of making sure that I wasn\u2019t eating alone, or that I was even eating, in such a thoughtful, lovely way. Whenever I think of that period in my life, I remember the devastation. But I\u2019m also always overwhelmed by the wonderful ways that my friends stepped in without being asked.<\/p>\n
What I love about these portraits is that all the animals are flawed. They\u2019re a little goofy, or a little broken, or a little weird. And I think that gets across the idea that being our authentic selves helps us connect with other people. Trying to be perfect around each other is a barrier to building real, intimate relationships.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s often a huge fear of change because you don\u2019t know what\u2019s on the other side. But today, I\u2019m standing on the other side, and I\u2019m so<\/em> happy<\/a>. And if I hadn\u2019t lost my job, I don\u2019t know if I would have become an illustrator. You never know what might come from a big change in your life, but it could be really wonderful, beautiful things. You just have to be open to it.<\/p>\n