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<\/a><\/div>\nRight now, the three words I\u2019d use to describe my friendships are: deep, happy and sporadic. I feel good about those descriptors, except for the last one\u2026<\/p>\n A month after delivering my now four-year-old daughter Ella<\/a>, my husband Max<\/a> and I moved from our hometown of San Jose to a smaller agricultural town. The new town had a refreshingly slower pace, safe neighborhoods, amazing<\/em> taquerias, and houses with mortgages we could actually afford. The only catch? It\u2019s an hour away from all of the women in my life who feel like home. <\/p>\n For the first two years, with only one child in tow, I didn\u2019t see the 60-minute drive back to San Jose\u00a0to grab lunch with the girls\u00a0as much of a hurdle. But nowadays, life is so full<\/em>. Ella goes to daycare with her own new friends; each month finds me blocking off more squares in the family calendar for birthday parties and playdates. We also had a second baby, my ultra-kissable little squish, Emiliano<\/a>. Coordinating childcare for two<\/em> children with their grandparents, who also help watch our kids during the week, plus finding a day in a month that my equally busy friends are all available, feels nearly impossible.<\/p>\n Our group text looks like this meme<\/a>. <\/p>\n So, at this stage in life, I\u2019m doubling down on two hang-out methods to keep my friendship cup full:<\/p>\n My first method is the random phone call. I\u2019ll initiate by texting a friend five minutes before I have a pocket of free time, asking if they\u2019re up for a quick chat. Sometimes I\u2019ll even cold call! Half the time, the stars align and we get to gab. I\u2019ve been keeping up this ritual once a week with my best friend Angela<\/a> while I head on walks around my neighborhood or work in the garden. During our calls, I\u2019ve learned her go-to weeknight meal (chopped Greek salad), her work anxiety (the tariffs!), and why she couldn\u2019t attend her grandmother\u2019s birthday dinner (a bad cold). Knowing these details of her day-to-day life makes me feel so much closer to her. Sometimes our calls last for a glorious 30 minutes; other times, just five. Regardless of the call\u2019s length, I always hang up feeling re-energized.<\/p>\n My second hang-out strategy is embracing friend dates with<\/em> kids. Now I *love* nothing more than quality one-on-one time with my friends, but since scheduling that is hard, I realized I\u2019d rather see them with my kids, than not at all. Thankfully, my friends, who don\u2019t have kids themselves, are open to that dynamic. So, I\u2019ll invite them over for a brunch spread at my house, or we\u2019ll meet for a picnic at the park. Full disclosure: There are LOTS of interrupted conversations while I run around after my children. I remember the first few times we tried this method, I felt self-conscious about how many times I said, \u201cHold on for one second!\u201d as I dashed to stop Ella from making a questionable jump off the jungle gym. But then I remembered: my friends are the women who held me when I cried during heartbreaks, stood by my side as I said my wedding vows, and organized meal trains for me after I birthed both my children. They reassured me that, of course, they want<\/em> to be with me, even in the thick of my parenting young kids. Who am I to close them off from this new stage of my life?<\/p>\n Friendships are amazing and hard, and they ebb and they flow. While the way my friends and I are spending time together is different from how we\u2019ve done it in the past, I\u2019m so grateful that we\u2019re finding new rhythms that work for all of us.<\/p>\n I\u2019m curious: How are your friendships going right now? Are you in a season where you can see friends regularly? Do you feel booked up with work or personal obligations? Have you moved to a new place and started from scratch? I\u2019d love to hear.<\/strong><\/p>\n P.S. 12 great reader comments on friendship<\/a> and 13 things to do with friends that aren\u2019t dinner<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n