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Hello, it\u2019s your late-in-life lesbian friend<\/a> (trademark pending) checking in! I have been in a relationship with my lovely girlfriend, Breyon, for 2.5 years, which in lesbian years is 14 minutes \u2013 long-term relationships is the official community calling card.<\/p>\n A bit about our backstory: We met on Hinge at the end of 2021. I invited her to my apartment for a reading date and homemade hot chocolate. In hindsight, it sounds creepy, because who invites someone to their apartment on the first date!? That\u2019s how naive I was, but the rest is history. Bre makes me feel seen and cared for, a role I usually play with no reciprocation. We laugh like best friends having a sleepover, giggling in the dark, refusing to fall asleep before the other one. My wildest dreams have become her own, and we endlessly root for each other. We moved in together last July (feel free to google the term \u201cU-Haul lesbian\u201d).<\/p>\n Because I\u2019ve never been in a long-term relationship before \u2014 only dabbling in a few short relationships with women, plus one chaste kiss with a boy when I was 24 \u2014 fear still takes hold when I think about our future. What if it falls apart? What if we stop recognizing each other? What if, what if, what if<\/em> echoes in my head until I snap back to the present. All we have is each other, right now, so we will work on our relationship as long as we\u2019re in it. Should things end, it won\u2019t be because we ever stopped trying.<\/p>\n The thing I love about our relationship is we truly make a point to have fun with each other. In the grand scheme of things I feel like I know nothing, but I enjoy sharing as I learn and can\u2019t wait to hear what you all do with your partners (and friends!) to keep the spark going\u2026<\/p>\n 1. Running Errands<\/strong> 2. Evening Walks<\/strong> 3. Game Shows<\/strong> 4. Two-Person Book Club<\/strong> 5. Card Games<\/strong> 6. Concerts<\/strong> My question to you is, um, am I doing this right? Like am I doing okay in this relationship?! I\u2019m kidding. But! I would love to know what you and your partners do to keep your relationship fun, whether it\u2019s sending memes or going camping. I love the community here and can\u2019t wait to see you in the comments.<\/p>\n Abby Mallett<\/a> is a freelance writer and editor at Joy The Baker<\/a>. She has also written for Cup of Jo about traveling<\/a> and books<\/a>. Follow Abby on Instagram<\/a>, if you\u2019d like.<\/em><\/p>\n P.S. \u201cWhat nine movies and shows with gay characters meant to me<\/a>,\u201d and \u201chow I travel as a fat queer Black woman<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n (Top photo by Adrian Rodd\/Stocksy.)<\/p>\n
When Bre and I first met, I had undiagnosed sleep apnea and felt delirious. I\u2019d fall asleep mid-conversation because I barely slept at night. She would make up errands more than an hour away, so I could nap in the car. It makes me teary thinking about that incredibly sweet gesture. We still enjoy driving to the suburbs and finding the nicest TJ Maxx around. I feel like relationships are 80% routine things, so spending time with her even doing simple errands always connects us. After we come home, we sit in the car and check in with each other. I never take these moments for granted. <\/p>\n
We live in Chicago\u2019s Lincoln Square\/Ravenswood neighborhood, which feels like a cross between Sesame Street and Stars Hollow. There\u2019s a large park across the street, and restaurants within walking distance, and it\u2019s filled with Midwestern charm. On nice nights, we\u2019ll walk to the coolest lesbian bar around called Nobody\u2019s Darling. It\u2019s a Black-owned, BIPOC-friendly place. We\u2019ll walk there, have two drinks, and waltz home 86 minutes later with warm faces, cuddling in bed. It\u2019s perfect!<\/p>\n
Listen, we live in a third-floor walk up that has given us toned calves and glutes. That also means a lot of time, once we\u2019re in the house, we\u2019re House People. We\u2019re not leaving unless something\u2019s on fire. Usually we\u2019re staring at our three cats (Charlie Brown, Lucy, and Wylie) asking ourselves how we live with these cartoon characters, and we\u2019ve recently also gotten into game shows. Have you watched Claim to Fame<\/a>? It\u2019s relatives of celebrities hiding their identity until everyone is eliminated save one. It\u2019s incredibly wholesome, especially when President Jimmy Carter\u2019s grandson was revealed last season and he called him \u201cPoppy.\u201d We also watch Celebrity Jeopardy\/Jeopardy Masters and yell out the answers. We\u2019re cringey and cute, and I\u2019m obsessed with us. <\/p>\n
Bre and I don\u2019t have the same taste in books \u2014 she loves a good murder mystery, you know, the cousin was actually the father who was actually the priest and he definitely did it? Whereas I love a good magical fantasy about love surviving centuries. We still try to find a book to read together, and we\u2019re currently working through Emily Nagoski\u2019s Come Together<\/a>. It\u2019s thought provoking and provides lots of subjects to discuss with each other. <\/p>\n
Date nights are never boring thanks to Skin Deep cards<\/a>. They have different versions for friends, long-term relationships, and date nights. I love being surprised by her answers, and love hearing how they change over time. It\u2019s thrilling to be introduced to your partner over and over again, isn\u2019t it? We also keep Monopoly Deal<\/a> on us at all times. It\u2019s a quick card version of Monopoly that can be won within 10 minutes. It involves all the fun of Monopoly without dedicating 10-15 years of your life.<\/p>\n
I would think every couple loves to travel, because who doesn\u2019t? Yes, please, let me rot on the beach in Cancun for several days! Bre and I have especially found joy in concerts as a form of travel. Recently, we traveled to Milwaukee\u2019s Summerfest to see Brittany Howard, and we have tickets for Kaytranada next month. Last year, we saw Beyonc\u00e9 at the Superdome in New Orleans, and it felt like being blessed by the Pope.<\/p>\n![\"Abby](\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/Screenshot-2024-08-29-at-12.29.36%E2%80%AFPM.png\")
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