![\"lentils](\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/Screenshot-2024-03-20-at-9.45.35%E2%80%AFAM.png\")
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A few months ago, my husband Craig and I hosted the titular Jo<\/a> of Cup of Jo, plus regular contributor Jenny Rosenstrach<\/a> and her husband Andy<\/a> for dinner. You may recall this meal because Jenny wrote a terrific post about being a dinner party guest<\/a> that sparked lots of conversation. Now I\u2019d like to take you through the looking glass to the other side of this dinner party: what does it take it to be a good dinner party host<\/em>?<\/p>\n Allow me to tout my own expertise: I host more dinner parties than anyone I know \u2014 it\u2019s less a hobby and more of a compulsion. I love cooking for other people and I do so several times a month, at least. Here are my seven rules for achieving success when you\u2019re having people over:<\/p>\n 1. Choose a menu that you\u2019re excited to make.<\/strong> That may seem obvious, but so many rookie hosts cook out of obligation rather than passion and that translates to a sense of obligation amongst the guests (as in: I guess I have to finish this dried out piece of Beef Wellington.) Your best bet is to figure out what you\u2019re craving and start there. At the very least, you\u2019ll be excited to eat the results and that makes your guests feel excited, too.<\/p>\n 2. Figure out the timing before you start cooking.<\/strong> I know we all wanted to be done with math after high school, but it\u2019s worthwhile to do a little calculating when timing out your menu. For example, a few weeks ago, I cooked a six-hour lasagna<\/a> for my husband Craig\u2019s birthday and to get that on the table, along with a Caesar salad and key lime pie for dessert, I made the pie the day before and the Caesar dressing that morning. That way, I could spend the afternoon focusing on the labor-intensive lasagna without breaking a sweat as guests arrived. When the lasagna was cooling, I made the salad. Now who\u2019s laughing about flunking AP Calculus?!<\/p>\n 3. Don\u2019t rush things.<\/strong> I\u2019m an anxious person, so when people come over, my tendency is to speed things along: not because I\u2019m not enjoying myself, but because I\u2019m so antsy about getting dinner just right. But that\u2019s all wrong! Craig is the one who imposed a mandatory cocktail hour when guests arrive. This ensures that everyone can relax and settle in before I march them to the table to behold my creations. Plus, it\u2019s a chance for Craig to show off his cocktail-making skills. Fun fact: Dinner guests are more generous about the food when they\u2019re slightly buzzed. So, cocktail hour is a win-win for everyone.<\/p>\n Eric Kim<\/a> at Adam and Craig\u2019s house<\/em><\/p>\n 4. Try to make as much ahead as you possibly can.<\/strong> If you\u2019re planning to make six rib-eye steaks for six hungry people in a tiny New York kitchen on a stovetop without ventilation, my hat\u2019s off to you. Everyone else, may I suggest that you try to steer away from dishes that require you to cook them \u00e1 la minute? (That\u2019s the fancy French way of saying \u201cto order.\u201d) Instead, consider braises like coq au vin, hearty stews, even elaborate soups that you can make ahead and heat back up when everyone gets there. Not only will you feel calmer, these dishes often taste better the next day, after the flavors have a chance to meld. Again: win-win!<\/p>\n 5. Keep wine glasses and water glasses full.<\/strong> Even though your job in the kitchen<\/em> may be over once you serve the food, your job at the table<\/em> activates the second you sit down. Keep an eye on people\u2019s plates and glasses. If they finish their portion and they\u2019re eyeing someone else\u2019s slice of meatloaf, ask them if they\u2019d like some more. And refill their glasses \u2013 whether they\u2019re drinking wine, water, sparkling water, beer, juice \u2013 it doesn\u2019t matter, just keep the liquid flowing. It\u2019s a tiny gesture that goes a long way.<\/p>\n 6. Take a beat before dessert.<\/strong> This is an extension of the \u201cdon\u2019t rush things\u201d rule. Again, as a host you may be eager to move things along once you clear the table and start setting places for dessert, but most people will still be processing their main course, both emotionally and gastrointestinally. Give them a break and a breather before bringing out that Devil\u2019s Food Cake that you spent so much time making. Oh, and this goes without saying, but always<\/em> offer dessert. Even if they say they don\u2019t need it, almost everyone loves dessert. And if someone refuses, take a mental note and never invite that person to dinner again.<\/p>\n 7. Don\u2019t do the dishes in front of your guests.<\/strong> The illusion that you\u2019re trying to create at a dinner party is that none of this is work, all of this is pleasure. So, what kind of impression will you be leaving people with if they see you laboring over a giant sink full of dishes as they walk out the door? Instead of feeling elated and asking \u201chow does she do it?\u201d they\u2019ll feel guilty about not offering to help you scrub up in the kitchen. Do what I do: pretend the dishes don\u2019t exist! Pour yourself more wine, cut yourself a little extra dessert, and take a load off. You deserve it. You can do the dishes in the morning.<\/p>\n Adam and Craig<\/em><\/p>\n Adam Roberts<\/a> writes the bi-weekly newsletter Amateur Gourmet<\/a> and is the author of three books, including Secrets of the Best Chefs<\/a> and Give My Swiss Chards to Broadway: The Official Broadway Lover\u2019s Cookbook (with Tony-nominated actor, Gideon Glick)<\/a>. He lives with his husband and dog in Brooklyn.<\/em><\/p>\n Thank you, Adam<\/a>! We love you and your newsletter<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n P.S. The best party snack of all time<\/a>, and are you a party host or enthusiastic guest<\/a>?<\/p>\n (Top photo of Adam\u2019s lentil recipe<\/a>.)<\/p>\n![\"Eric](\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/IMG_9980-scaled.jpg\")
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